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Post by wavemaker9 (Rick D.) on Jan 18, 2008 1:19:08 GMT -5
Pre-rem in a stupor hold
of monogamist monotony,
I dreamt of a rusty pair of
old needle-nosed pliers
clamping on the only nut
remaining whole from the nightmare
of locking down a livelihood
while being torqued by a wrench,
and I awoke in vice-gripped guilt,
deliberating why a shiny new
pair of channel locks
was not my squeeze of choice.
The rust is history.
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Post by Jonathan Morey Weiss-Namaste47 on Jan 18, 2008 9:12:30 GMT -5
Handyman's delight. "Monogamist monotony" gets some kind of recognition. Nice metaphor.....and closer.
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storyweaver
EP 250 Posts Plus
"What is genius?but the power of expressing a new individuality?" Elizabeth Barrett Browning
Posts: 465
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Post by storyweaver on Jan 18, 2008 13:55:11 GMT -5
Now this is extended metaphor, painfully so!
Love it.
G.
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Post by MichaelFirewalker on Jan 18, 2008 20:34:10 GMT -5
lynn's nickname is chickie...
michael
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Post by David Nelson Bradsher on Jan 19, 2008 10:23:07 GMT -5
Pre-rem in a stupor hold of monogamist monotony, I dreamt of a rusty pair of old needle(-) nosed pliers clamping on the only nut remaining whole from the nightmare of locking down a livelihood while being torqued by a wrench(,) and I awoke in vice(-)gripped guilt(,) deliberating why a shiny new pair of channel locks was not my squeeze of choice. The rust is history. Cleverness personified, my friend. All I gots is punctuation suggestions.  |
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Post by wavemaker9 (Rick D.) on Jan 19, 2008 13:20:04 GMT -5
Yes, but Lynn is Chanel locked with alluring fragrance.  Dave, thanks. I was too caught up in words to remember punctuation. |
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Post by Jarlsbane - Michael Ray Cotner on Jan 19, 2008 16:13:33 GMT -5
A new version of the nutcracker suite??? whitty poem nicely done!
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