Communication

[MichaelFirewalker]

bane of third
dimensional existence

ever inadequate
to our gargantuan
egoistic desires

our desperate attempts
to leap the Himalayas
swim the Atlantic
water the Sahara

with nothing
but intricate tapestries
inadequate lattices
pitiful travesties
of human words

we have barely begun
to know there is light
beyond our dark caves
defined as minds

[David Nelson Bradsher]

As always, Michael, intelligent and beautiful. ONly one thought:

we have barely begun
to know there is light
beyond these dark caves
we call minds (how about 'defined as minds'?)

[MichaelFirewalker]

David...I like that "defined as minds"!----am gonna change it----only thing is that it takes it away from the more personal feeling in "we call"----sure sounds better, though----am not sure----to make up for the loss of personableness, I also changed "beyond these dark caves" to "beyond our dark caves"----watcha think?

michael

[Jarlsbane - Michael Ray Cotner]

good change... i like the flow and word choices in this piece... the ending makes the poem for me...

[MichaelFirewalker]

thank you, Michael----that helps me...

michael

[dcpottsmd]

Michael, very eloquent indeed.

Danny

[David Nelson Bradsher]

I like the changes, Michael.