Though I say I am in love I lie

[Jarlsbane - Michael Ray Cotner]

Though I say I am in love I lie

There are feelings
that course through my body,
wind and coil around my heart
squeezing
until breathing becomes difficult,
lucid thought impossible.

Feelings I recognize
familiar as the face in the mirror
or the one in my dreams
but they aren’t love-
only remnants of what’s left over.

Fear
Envy
Jealousy
Hope- always hope-

and Longing.

Oh the longing
that starts as a mist
in the depths of your soul
and as it rises,
joins with the chorus of other emotions
already seeking release
together swirling in an internal tempest
until finally rushing forth
in huge drops
raining bliss and agony.

Overwhelmed I say
I am in love but I lie
because love implies two
each grounded in the belief
they complete the other
Mutual
Symbiotic
Perfect

yet in the absence of reciprocity
love becomes nothing but torture.

[MichaelFirewalker]

this is so wonderfully and precisely written!----I have lived a love like this one myself, with many of these same emotions, for four years now, and that it has never lessened, but only grown greater----I have refused to stifle it, because it is literally life to me, despite its pain----but in the last few months, a change has begun in its most secret places----the love seems to have grown beyond the one beloved----it is now reaching outward to ALL of my beloveds, to the many hearts whom I love in many ways, and for myriad reasons----I am beginning to see the eyes of my beloved, who cannot ever be mine in this incarnation, in everyone's eyes, everyone's hearts, everyone's souls----and as my love for her continues to grow, the pain is lessening----it is amazing, and I never would have believed it----if someone had earlier told me this would eventually happen, I would have turned away from them in anger----now I am glad no one did, because I would have been so wrong...

hugs,
michael

[Vasile Baghiu]

Hi, Mike! Nice to read a new poem of you! The title has much weight and resonates in the reader’s soul long after the read. One little thing… If mine, I would renounce of the explanations that follows after “because…” in the penultimate stanza. But this is just me. Happy New Year!
Vasile

[Ron Wallace (Scotshawk)]

All I could see to contribute was the addition of some punctuation, Mike. S2L3 comma. S5L1 comma after "overwhelmed". Maybe a comma after "in love" line 2 of that stanza.
I'd probably ax "Oh" starting S4L1, but that's petty subjective I suppose. Overall I really enjoy the strong use of language to create tone and mood. Good stuff. Ron

[Tina (Firefly)]

Title is fantastic..could be a great title for an entire book. What I like best about this is the simple honesty of it. There is poetry here, but you resist the sentimental and just tell it like it is. Much enjoyed and glad to see you here anytime. Tina