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Post by mfwilkie on Nov 30, 2007 0:31:20 GMT -5
Sometimes, the first few seconds of stir
come ignorant of the past, and ego reaches for
the familiar, for a presence, the genuineness
of his arm...
This is an admission of superior loneliness
caught on the edge of a fading dream.
How it rises, how it stinks.
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Post by LynnDoiron on Nov 30, 2007 1:41:27 GMT -5
interesting title.
this current set up really works for me, mugs.
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Post by sandpiper on Nov 30, 2007 18:18:12 GMT -5
Sometimes, the first few seconds of stir
come ignorant of the past, and ego reaches for
the familiar, for a presence, the genuineness
of his arm...
ahhh... perfect, love the ignorant, the ego reaching unknowingly. well done!
This is an admission of superior loneliness
caught at the edge of a fading dream.
not loving these two lines as much, I would prefer the admission "coming" "occurring" somehow as opposed to the "this is"...
How it rises, how it stinks.
yes it does. and unfortunately they've not created a perfume that quite takes that stink away yet. maybe someday.
-piper
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GD Martin
EP 250 Posts Plus
It is 11 April 2015, and I am standing here in the silence.
Posts: 400
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Post by GD Martin on Dec 4, 2007 2:57:15 GMT -5
I was born on a Thursday, and your title hooked me. Your writing has an easy rolling, poetic sound to me; it creates a certain feeling in me, even though I am too dense to correlate the information to the title. _Gary
P.S. Happy belated birthday, Maggie. Were you born on a Thursday?
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Post by mfwilkie on Dec 5, 2007 9:27:28 GMT -5
Thanks, Gary.
Yup, I'm a Thursday baby.
I think we should write a new poem!
Maggie
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GD Martin
EP 250 Posts Plus
It is 11 April 2015, and I am standing here in the silence.
Posts: 400
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Post by GD Martin on Dec 5, 2007 11:44:33 GMT -5
Say, Maggie, Let's do, "A Thursday Sonnet" (title), and we'll shuffle it back and forth (you start it); or else advertise for twelve other Thursday-born poets to join us, each putting in their own line (first come, first write). Then, after the first draft is finished, each one of the fourteen people are allowed one editing suggestion, that they post (posted, one post at a time, and prioritized by thread order), and each one's edit becomes concrete (kind of) when at least seven other people replying to that particular post, agree with that particular person's edit. Afterward, when everyone who had wanted to do an edit, has finished doing so, the process is repeated for a third time, which finally becomes the final draft. _Gary P.S. If we find there aren't enough "Thursday poets" (after one week of advertising), any poet born on any other day can participate. I, and thirteen other hippies (all redneck off springs) had manufactured one of these non psalmistic psychedelic gems, right before I got drafted. The end result of that mind-expanding sonnet, now looking back, resembled to me, something that the "Bard of Avon" might have penned, after he had possibly just performed the "Vulcan Mind Melt" with Bob Dylan. It was really groovy, Man (Yippee Ki Yay)! _GD  |
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Post by Angel Clementine on Dec 6, 2007 10:19:03 GMT -5
GD,
I remember a while back when my ex showed me a sonnet he said he had written back in `71; later I found out he was only the author of line 666, uh, I mean 6! But that's OK, because he fed me many other lines of his own, since then. He's been living in LA, and is probably an old hippie, by now, holding on to his dream of someday, somewhere, sitting down and taking a toke with Tommy Chung.
Maggie,
The real reason I am responding to this thread is to say that I was born one early morning, as a child "full of woe". Please put me on the list of 'Woe-Day poets", if there is ever going to be a list. I hope your woeful days are outnumbered. _Angel
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Post by Sherry Thrasher on Dec 6, 2007 15:14:13 GMT -5
I thought it was: Wednesday's child is full of woe, Thursday's child has far to go Of course, I am a Sunday's child...full of grace  |
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Post by mfwilkie on Dec 6, 2007 15:35:05 GMT -5
You're absolutely right, Sherry Berry!
Far to go works better as a title.
Thanks much.
Maggie
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Post by Sherry Thrasher on Dec 6, 2007 19:56:28 GMT -5
You're most welcome my dear.
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Post by Angel Clementine on Dec 7, 2007 1:52:41 GMT -5
???OOOPS! I had forgotten that I was born on a Wednesday (I read the title and was inadvertently misled into an erroneous assumption, because the latter part of the title was applicable to me). I really have word-cursed myself often by declaring myself "full of woe" by repeating that old adage, regarding Wednesday. THANK YOU, SHERRY for getting me back on track. I, once again, am conciously aware that I am a 'Wednesday poet', but I think I am going to stop thinking of myself as full of woe, just the same. I am full of other stuff, instead; however, careful thinking about every detail, apparently isn't one of them. _Angel
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GD Martin
EP 250 Posts Plus
It is 11 April 2015, and I am standing here in the silence.
Posts: 400
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Post by GD Martin on Dec 7, 2007 9:16:51 GMT -5
Brilliant back paddling, Angel...
I, on the other hand, can proudly say that I have far to go! _GD
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Post by mfwilkie on Dec 7, 2007 16:15:24 GMT -5
Let's try that sonnet anyway, Gary, and all!
Who nows, it might lead to a song!!!!!
You start.
Maggie
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GD Martin
EP 250 Posts Plus
It is 11 April 2015, and I am standing here in the silence.
Posts: 400
|
Post by GD Martin on Dec 8, 2007 18:33:37 GMT -5
Maggie,
This could be another one of those "fun things" for EP poets to do together. It probably doesn't matter what theme is chosen, as long as there is a theme (perhaps a holiday one). It, therefore, could and should be open to all. You've got the power and pull, gal, to kick it off (if you wouldn't mind doing the honor, please). _Gary
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