Blue Moon Dancing/revision

[mfwilkie]

First Revision

Light breaks where no sun shines;
Where no sea runs, the waters of the heart
Push in their tides;
And, broken ghosts with glow-worms in their heads,
The things of light
File through the flesh where no flesh decks the bones.
(from Light breaks where no sun shines by Dylan Thomas)



I've decided to end this life,
drink enough memory down
to drown the acid-reality of loss—

put an end to its worm-like ache;
his death has taken hold of my bones
and every muscle that I own;

my thoughts can't turn a corner
without running into a ghost
only I can feel. So, I mean

to swig enough intoxicating imagery to balance
the threat of imbalance in living the rest of my life
without the love of my life. Habits have become

nightmares—the idea of rest
is out of reach, and laughable.
Baudelaire was right—

I need to drown myself in the vintage
seasons that slipped their arms around us
and stay drunk until I'm sober enough

for this new face.

[Jo Lynn Ehnes]

sometimes I read your words and it touches me so that I don't even know what to say and all I can offer is a hug instead of critique. this is one of those times.

[Jonathan Morey Weiss-Namaste47]

Quite beautiful, Maggie.

I like "balance the threat
of imbalance.."

and the faint echo of "...in living the rest of my life
without the love of my life."

Also "...the replay of seasons
that slipped their arms around us..."

[Tina (Firefly)]

I find neither flaw nor nit. What a pleasure to read, Magpie. "and end the worm-like ache his death has bred" is no less than amazing in intent and mood. Actually, it all is terrific, though fills me with sorrow. QLT

[mfwilkie]

Thanks for the read, T.

Magpie