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Post by mfwilkie on Jun 1, 2007 3:53:34 GMT -5
I
Mystic River and Boston’s Jews are talking ancient fires; abstracts mention churches, but not one synagogue– history resurrected.
II
The baklava was as old as Algiers, but his palette didn’t tumble to it. This Willis, this Ohio Willis, was really born for the world. He fits she-who- invented-everything. (Always the maven– this thread of leaning child to womanhood.)
III
What could have been sat just across from me; the same gift of art inked around her leg, the history of a ghost behind her chair; the name that distance still finds hard to write; a daughter lost to someone’s foolish passion,
A gnome without a Willis joi de vivre.
IV
Can’t divorce myself from this city’s air. It would be like crawling inside his death, giving up joy which poets seldom own.
Blake says, life delights in life. And Walcott– It’s a poet’s duty as much as the saints.
The privilege is to honor where I walk, I think.
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Post by Sherry Thrasher on Jun 1, 2007 10:16:48 GMT -5
Mags, you are a true poet. I'd really like to discuss this one with you. BTW, a great title that pulled me right in. I'd like to understand this formatting. Is there a name for it?
Thanks, Sherry
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Post by David Nelson Bradsher on Jun 1, 2007 10:28:59 GMT -5
Maggie, where did this come from?
More importantly, are you intending accentual meter here?
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Post by LynnDoiron on Jun 1, 2007 12:32:32 GMT -5
I think the Blake quote in end stanza helps to define what comes before as "life" [yours, maggie] delighted by life/lives [each of the short vignettes that precedes]. Love the Ohio Willis. Not as sure about some of the parenthetical maven lines. Almost get the feel of too many personalities at play in that area and I get bumped from the read a bit in trying to figure out what I'm taking in. I love your title. And I think the "butterflies" of it are young women. But I would like to be grounded a bit more, early on, with a sense of the voice and who she is in relation to who these butterflies are. I think if I had that one key, then my pleasure in the rooms of this poem would be great indeed.
lynn
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Post by mfwilkie on Jun 2, 2007 16:59:24 GMT -5
Thanks for the read, guy and gals!
I'll call you some time this week, Sher. PM me.
I was actually trying for iambic, D, but I felt it slipping in some places.
Hey, did you catch the double iamb?
I do see your point, Lynn.
Thanks much,
Maggie
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