This Cup

[Angel Clementine]

("parting is such sweet sorrow" _an oxymoron I have
been quoting, while bittersweet memories of mi madre
fall sifting through my mind)_Angel


This Cup

(by Angel Clementine)


Her cup packed in a dress, my mother wore;
whose years foregone, the valued cup and garb
were left to me in care, forevermore.
The frock, I wear in diner chair by harbor
light, with cup, tonight; I sit and think
how love was sterling when she squeezed my hand
through family tales galore! For now, I drink
tinged tender warmth, and listen to the band
with her green grail clutched in my grip, where urbane
words flow down my pen. This cup, a din
of thunders in the night, pours past its earthen
mouth, now into mine. I dine, till when?

A child, this cup, snugged in lamenting palms;
this cup of tears, who knew her soothing psalms.

[GD Martin]

Don't forget about tomorrow night, to have a cup of cheer.
THAT should oil the hinges, and free up the old plumbing.
You'll thank me, later. _GD

[mfwilkie]

Angel, I'm not sure what to suggest here, because the poem starts off talking about a dress, then mentions the cup, and the couplet finishes with the cup, and no mention of the dress.

I'll be right back. I want to check something.

Maggie

[David Nelson Bradsher]

Hi Angel-

I like this sonnet, and the enjambment you employ, but like Maggie, I wonder what happened to the dress, and if its inclusion in the poem should hold a greater significance considering it begins the piece.

[Jo Lynn Ehnes]

I can see where Maggie and David are coming from yet at the same time as you are wrapped in the dress and it becomes a part of you I can see where it gets lost in the reflection of the cup. Torn on that. Not sure I would suggest changing it.

[mfwilkie]

Angel,

What I was thinking was that with the dress and the cup, both important subjects to be covered in the body of the sonnet, you mght look at the Italian sonnet form of Petrarch when you revise this.

I think it would work for you.

Here's a link.

www.sonnets.org/basicforms.htm

Maggie

[Angel Clementine]

Thank you, one and all; my mother's dress has now been deemphasized, all the way down to my Hanes. (insert laughter) Angel