On language school (ver. 2)

[LeoVictorBriones (poetremains)]

On a blade of grass
a silver dewdrop,
translucent and gleaming,
rests like a little kingdom in a dome—
no greater meaning;
it's just there.
So this poem stops here.

[mfwilkie]

Leo, what about going a little more avant gardé with this?
Making it more abstract to fit the title?

Something like:

In relationships,
is a blade of grass
bending under the weight
of a drop of dew worth
considering?

If not, this poem should end here.

But if you find significance
in the silvered-shimmer
of natural things, share them
with me and I will write of Spring.

Mags

[Marion Poirier]

Leo, I don't remember the original verbatim,
but it seems to have been trimmed. That is good!

Some observations for you:
You are telling in the last line-repeating
what's been said - but are getting closer to the truth.

Good Luck!
Marion

On a blade of grass
a silver dewdrop,
translucent and gleaming,
rests like a little kingdom in a dome --dash
no greater meaning; semi-colon
it's just there. period
so this poem stops here.

(You can always use poetic license if you prefer.)

[Jonathan Morey Weiss-Namaste47]

I like this, Leo......so different from you.....simple, relaxed......

"On a blade of grass
a silver dewdrop,
(gleaming translucent) {perhaps}

[Tina (Firefly)]

How often I have had the same perspective:

"rests like a little kingdom in a dome.."

"no greater meaning; it's just there."

In fact, we so often fail to see that a poem is encapsulated in all of it.. we rattle on WAY too much, don't we?

This is 'the question (and the answer) behind the question.
Tina

[David Nelson Bradsher]

Leo, I love it, but I'm not sure what you've changed from the original.

[Nan]

Leo, this poem lasted long enough to convey your message and present your images. I love the word economy and the last line.

Nan