Sundowning

[David Nelson Bradsher]

Revision

Pajama’d and reposed,
you lie in sleep as if you’re set in state,
some queen deceased and now enclosed
in glass, outside of which your subjects wait.

But no parade takes place.
No ornamental pageantry ensues.
Only a peaceful look that smoothes your face--
the darkness shading like a brand new bruise.


Original

Pajama’d and reposed,
you lie in sleep as if you’re set in state,
some queen deceased and now enclosed
in glass, outside of which your subjects wait.

But no parade takes place.
No ornamental pageantry ensues.
Only a peaceful look that smoothes your face,
and darkness, shading like a brand new bruise.

[mfwilkie]

D, A thought on the last line.

Pajama’d and reposed,
you lie in sleep as if you’re set in state,
some queen deceased and now enclosed
in glass, outside of which your subjects wait.

But no parade takes place.
No ornamental pageantry ensues.
Only a peaceful look that smoothes your face—
and the darkness shading like a brand new bruise.

[Ron Wallace (Scotshawk)]

Excellent, David, very strong and well stated as always. I must admit though; I do like Mags' little tweak. It seems work well. Ron

[David Nelson Bradsher]

Thank you, Ron and Mags. yes, I like the tweak, too. Changing.