That Sight (revised)

[Vasile Baghiu]

(new version)

I wonder why people
have that sight
of world end
regardless
where on earth they live.

Science makes us understand
some things: it is
an endless spectacle
everywhere.

Even the soul becomes
the main subject for psychology
and psychiatry disciplines,
to name a few.

Poetry also approaches the soul
with much courage and has
since the very beginning.



(first version)

Science has made us understand
some strange things
in our world.

It is an endless spectacle
everywhere.

Even the soul itself
has become
the main subject for a few disciplines
like psychology
and psychiatry.

Poetry has also approached the soul
with much courage
since the very beginning.

Nevertheless,
I wonder why people
have that sight
of world end
regardless
the place on Earth they live.

[Marion Poirier]

Vasile, the last stanza is ambiguous to my mind set-
do you mean you wonder why prophets and seers
as well as ordinary people like me are predicting that
the world is doomed to end within the next decade?
In spite of all the prayers in the world, unless a series
of miracles happen to enlighten those who wage war
and attempt to conquer by force and intimidation.

Another explanation is that I am completely clueless
as to your meaning, but if we don't learn to coexist,
the future of this planet lasting the millennium is
minuscule, if not non-existent.

Regardless of your intent, I think the last stanza
needs clarification - no doubt the language difference
between English and Romanian unless it is my way
of looking at the future.

Interesting poem and food for thought.

Warm regards,
Marion

[Vasile Baghiu]

Marion, I appreciate very much your coment and abservations. I will think of them and come back as soon as possible. Thanks again!
Vasile

[mfwilkie]

Vasile,

Think about starting this piece with this line.

Poetry approaches the idea of soul with (much) courage.

Maggie

[LynnDoiron]

Vasile -- This is an interesting piece. A discussion of "soul" it would seem, from scientific and poetic sides -- but then the end stanza seems [to me] to veer away from discussion of "soul" completely and settle on a vision of "world end" and "wonder" as to why. What if you opened the poem with the end stanza, the wondering, and then looked to the ideas of science and soul? [Please feel free to ignore suggestions below as I am often very wrong in my thinking. Ideas inside ( )'s are just thoughts for you to consider.]

Nevertheless,
I wonder why people
have that sight(vision/image/?)
of world end
regardless (of)
the place on Earth they live.
(where on earth they live.)

Science has made makes us understand
some strange things( It is
in our world.
an endless spectacle
everywhere.

Even the soul itself has becomes
the main subject for psychology
and psychiatry disciplines,
to name a few.

Poetry has also approaches the soul
with much courage and has
since the very beginning.

[then, vasile, some great end line that unites the world end image/sight/vision and the demise or enduring grace of "soul" - - - - - these are all just thoughts I had as I read through the poem, a poem which I think has great possibilities].

lynn

p.s. when I read through the mess I have made of your poem, my best advice is that you ignore what I've offered. I would delete this response all together, but I want you to know that while I like the idea of the poem, I do feel it needs some work. Sorry I couldn't offer more helpful suggestions. ld

[Vasile Baghiu]

Marion, the expression "that sight of world end" is just an expression for a certain gaze that we people have time to time, a combination between sadness, nostalgia and hope. At least that was my intention. I hope it is clearer now. Thank you very much for your comment!

Maggie, I know what you mean, I understand and I like the idea, and thank you for it, but I prefer Lynn’s. Thanks again for reading the poem!

Lynn, this is what I wanted to say! And in this order! Amazing! Thank you very much!

I will check time to time the site these next days, but I will probably not been able to be too long online, as tonight we have Easter here. Thanks again!

Vasile

[Ron Wallace (Scotshawk)]

Vasile I like the outcome of your revisions. Nice work on this one. Ron